This is the first thing that came into my mind as this page opened. Well, I’m in a struggle with Awitan right now. I was so frustrated of what happened last night during the voice rehearsals. I think my voice is getting worse. I can’t hit the right note. It was really awful. I can hear my voice and it sounds very bad. Our conductor,together with a few orgmates, tried to help me out. But it just led to my disappointment. I’m the only one in the group who was given a remedial lesson of some sorts for singing. They said that I’m developing the bad habit of singing from my throat. Our conductor really had a bad time with me. I almost cried during my one-on-one lessons with the conductor. No matter what I do, no matter how I sing my heart out, I can’t still do it. It was the worst rehearsal I ever had. We finished at 9pm.
I didn’t have the chance to go to Laila’s party because it’s too late. I’m still thinking if I’m gonna attend the rehearsals late this afternoon. I’m planning to have a break first since I sacrificed a lot of time for Awitan. Quitting is my option. But how can I quit when there are people out there trying to do their best to make me smile and to encourage me that I can do it? They are so patient with me even though I slouch during rehearsals. Anyone can say that I’m the worst singer in this whole wide world but no one can say that I’m a loser. Even though it’s not my nature to be a better singer, I can still sing to glorify God, my only Maker, the Creator of all beautiful things. Indeed, God has given me this voice not to please people but to be able to proclaim His word to those who need Him. He is the only One who can bring out the best in me not just in singing, but in every aspect of my life.