It’s been a while since I last posted here. Well, a lot of things happened during the past few weeks (what do you expect). Regarding my previous post, I think I’m beginning to learn my lessons, the hard way. It’s not an easy task for me to ‘give up’ my friends (my comfort zone) since we’ve been together for at least 2 or 3 years.
Just to make things clear, the term ‘give up’ doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m gonna forget all the times that we’ve shared together (dinner, intimate talks, tampuhan, kulitan, asaran, mushy conversations, etc.) forever. I don’t want our friendship to distract me from focusing on the Lord. What I mean (maybe) is that I should limit myself from ‘always’ being with them. You know, even though you are constantly seeing each other, it’s still not a good thing to be dependent on each other. I knew the feeling of not being able to do some things because I haven’t seen my friends for just a little while. And I don’t want that thing to happen again. It really destroys everything. My mind can’t focus on the things that I should do. I want to focus on the things that God wants me to see, things that have eternal rewards.
Another thing is that, we’re not learning anymore from each other. We are not able to build each other up by filling in the weaknesses of each other. I’m afraid that if I get closer to them (the closest that we can get), I wouldn’t be able to let go of them anymore. That’s my greatest fear whenever I get close to someone. I tend to be possessive. We have our own different lives and we should continue to work our lives the way how God wants it to be.
Well, I can see that everything is just doin’ fine. I think they’re also starting to focus on the things that God wants them to do. And mind you, they’re really having a good time.
Right now, I’m still in the period of adjustment. To tell you honestly, I’m the kind of person who finds it hard to make the necessary adjustments if I’m required to do so.
During the past few days, I realized that I should be getting out of my comfort zone. God calls me to work for Him, to prepare for His coming, to experience how to be rejected by people just like how Jesus was rejected and to conquer my fears for His greater glory.