Shifting Sand
by Caedmon’s Call

Sometimes I believe all the lies
So I can do the things I should despise
And every day I am swayed
By whatever is on my mind

I hear it all depends on my faith
So I’m feeling precarious
The only problem I have with these mysteries I
s they’re so mysterious

And like a consumer I’ve been thinking
If I could just get a bit more
More than my 15 minutes of faith,
Then I’d be secure

My faith is like shifting sand
Changed by every wave
My faith is like shifting sand
So I stand on grace

I’ve begged you for some proof
For my Thomas eyes to see
A slithering staff, a leprous hand
And lions resting lazily

A glimpse of your back-side glory
On this soaked altar going ablaze
But you know I’ve seen so much
I explained it away

Waters rose as my doubts reigned
My sand-castle faith, it slipped away
Found myself standing on your grace
It’d been there all the time

Stand on grace

I just can’t think of anything to write. I feel so tired, emotionally… School’s up again and I’m having a lot of doubts as this sem make its way. I’m still traumatized by what happened last sem and I’m having a hard time accepting the truth that I might be delayed for graduation. But in all of these things, I always ask God what He’s trying to say. I believe that everything happens for a purpose and it’s for me to find out what it is.

But there’s one thing I realized just lately about my relationship with my friends. I realized that I’ve been putting barriers between me and my friends after that dreadful day, when I was deprived of the assurance of friendship. And now, I’m having a hard time breaking those barriers. I’ve been wounded a lot last sem and with this kind of faith, I feel like I might fall anytime. Things would be different and I’m so much afraid of what might come out of my decision to not trust anyone, even the one closest to you because they’re the one who would really hurt you.