Shemsssss…. I haven’t blogged for so long! Gosh! Nakaka-miss din pala! Haha!
2 weeks na lang before the sem ends (minus the finals week pa). Grabe, super busy na talaga sa acads and stuff. Haven’t got enough sleep these past few days because of schoolworks. And I am deprived of so many things, things that I enjoy doing especially spending time with people you love.
Ok Ok! Here I go again. Love issues… Relationships… Kailangan pa bang imemorize yan? As in shemsss, lagi na lang ito yung issue ko sa buhay. To those people who have heard my stories, siguro sawa na kayo. Haha! Thanks for listening anyway. But most of you didn’t bother to check me out again. You didn’t even realize that I’m hurting so much and I can’t bear to face the battle all by myself. THAT I CAN’T DO IT ALL ON MY OWN!!!
I keep on asking myself, DO I STILL HAVE FRIENDS? Kung meron, who are they? Nasan sila when I really need them the most? Cliche no? Pero that’s how I feel right now eh. And I hate this feeling. Some would tell me that there are certain people they know who cares for me. Pero those people pa talaga yung ife-fail ka the most.
I hate those people na kakausapin lang ako or magtetext lang dahil kailangan nila ng ganito or ganyan. True, I always do my best to be good to people pero not to the extent na naaabuso na ako. Pero ayoko talaga nung ginagamit lang ako. Sino bang may gusto ng ganun diba?
And there are people who would tell you that they will always be there for you. That they would help you with your struggles. That they would be accountable for you. Pero hanggang salita lang nila yun. And there are people who would really ignore you and think of you as a mere acquaintance not worthy of their time.
Nakakainis talaga sila especially those people na walang pakialam. Na kunwari they’re concerned pero deep inside them, pinagtatawanan ka na nila. They’re taking their pleasures from your pains. Ang LOSER ng feeling!
I realized that it’s very difficult to trust people kahit na you’ve known each other for 4 or 5 years. And even if they’re “LOOKING FORWARD TO A LIFETIME OF FRIENDSHIP WITH YOU,” a time will come when they themselves are the one who would betray you. They would mock you and despise you ’til there’s nothing left of you, even your SELF-RESPECT!
Why did I spend time with these UNWORTHY PEOPLE? Why did I keep on being good to them? Why did I waste my time thinking about them, keeping in touch with them when they can’t even make an extra effort to invite me in their hang-outs? Why did I still choose to stay with them when I can’t see the reason to stay? Why did I keep on doing good things to them when they can’t even show that they appreciate what I’m doing? Why am I being taken for granted? Bakit kailangan pang umabot sa ganito? WHY ARE THERE PEOPLE WHO CAN’T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND? Why can’t I let go of them when I have enough reasons to let them out of my life? Why do I need to feel this way? Why? BAKIT KAILANGAN PANG UMABOT SA GANITO?
If you think you’re one of those people I’m pointing to, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY LIFE!!!