People change. Things change. Perhaps these are the most depressing words that I’ve ever heard. I never thought that things would end up this way. Here I go again. Putting my heart out on this ‘imagined reality’ of mine as if someone would listen, as if someone would care. I bet most of the people who would at least read the title of this piece of crap would tell me, ‘God will be there for you,’ ‘God cares,’ ‘I can pray for you,’ ‘Depend on God,’ etc, etc. As if those words would immediately ease the burden. Of course not. It’s really effortless to say those words, even an unbeliever can say that to me. It takes some time for a person to believe that especially if you’re in the same situation as mine.
I’m tired of people saying that they miss me so much but in reality, they would just like to make a clean image of themselves, that they ‘really’ care for me. Same with people who would say they would love to spend time with me but when I get the chance to spend time with them, they won’t even notice me and they would be busy playing games with the same group of people from God-knows-where over and over again. Some would even choose to spend time in front of their new laptops than spending a second or two with me. Imagine having these kinds of people whom you consider as your ‘family.’ After taking everything they could from me, they would just throw me away. They’re not my family after all.
It’s always been like this! When will I learn to accept the fact that people change, that they don’t want to spend too much of their freaking time with me? When will I learn to do things on my own not depending on them? God! I’m so tired of it! How will I be able to grow in my faith if those people who are meant to help me are the ones who pull me to the depths of the earth? When will I learn to change?
Things really have changed. If you think that this is an issue about me feeling neglected, rejected, and taken for granted, congratulations! Yes! It’s definitely true! THE BIGGEST LOSER ON EARTH is born once and for all! Bullies, jerks, and suckers (it’s up to you what do you wanna call yourself, but for me you’re all just the same!), come and get me! This is your chance to show the world how ‘strong’ and how STUPID you all are!