I’m on a 1-month leave from work starting tomorrow to prepare for my board exam. 39 days left before I take the challenge of becoming a licensed engineer. But for that to become a reality, I would still have to spend most of my time solving engineering problems and memorizing a gazillion formulas. Add the fact that the exam was moved a month earlier so I really have to work double time. Thankfully, the managers on my present job willingly gave me a month off to prepare for the exam.

The past 3 months have been so tough but quite challenging. I started a new job as a cadet engineer last April in one of the biggest companies in the world. I’m glad to have joined that company since it was really my dream to work in a multi-national company, plus the fact that most of my peers there are my schoolmates in college. I had a great start with the company. It feels so good having your name attached to a company who made it really big in the engineering business. I’m more than blessed to have gotten a good-paying job (And man when I say good, it really is!) right after graduation. It’s one thing that I can really be proud of. I praise God for giving me that opportunity to get that kind of job. The work atmosphere is good. The supervisors are so cool. Workmates can become instant friends. What more can you ask for?

But as the days passed, I’m starting to realize that even though I got this job, I still feel that I won’t be happy doing this for the next months or so. I started to get frustrated with my performance at work especially with my Q.A. scores. At first I really thought that I’m one of the best newbie there. But then, after the results of the Q.A. came out, I found out that I’m not good enough. It saddened me a lot and it affected how I perform at work. How the heck did that happen? Is this really the job that I want? Am I really fit for this? Questions like these started to arise. There’s nothing wrong with the job. I think there’s something wrong with me.

For the next 39 days, I will try to re-asses my goals in life. Am I going there or am I taking a longer detour? I also want to ask God once again of the things that He has planned for me. I do hope to find the answers. But for now, I think I have to focus more on my board exam.